Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
