We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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