saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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