i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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