You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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