So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
