I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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