omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
