Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(973): View more from New Jersey

well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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(908): View more from New Jersey

fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.

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(807): View more from Ontario

If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.

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