I'm really into asian looking animals
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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