after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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