Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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