apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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