two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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