im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
