And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
