The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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