I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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