He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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