Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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