Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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