I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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