UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
