She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
