I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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