how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
