when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
