I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
