he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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