Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
