part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
