My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
