Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
