i just sent this text using only my big toe
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize