Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize