I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
