He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
