I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize