Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
honey bunches of taint.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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