Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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