Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
