Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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