I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
