the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
