i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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