Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
