he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
someone owes me an orgasm
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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