Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize