i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm at about main and main street
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
