I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
