the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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