Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
