just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
