would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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