Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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