I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
