Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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