are you still at the devil's house?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
