She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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