The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
