Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
