I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
