some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
