I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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