Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize